"why does she wear makeup to the gym??"

"why does she wear makeup to the gym??"

"Why does she wear makeup to the gym?"


This was a comment made to my partner by another female, about me.


Upon first reaction, this comment made me mad. "Why the heck does it matter to her what I have on my face during my work out?" is the first thing I thought about. Then after a few minutes, my thoughts turned more towards "Well maybe if she knew that I start my job straight after my workout, is the reason why I have makeup on." Lastly, my thoughts ended on "Why on earth am I caring so much about this anyway? Why am I sitting here silently justifying myself to another women? This shouldn’t even be a situation."
And that was the day I began to better understand that I too, am an advocate for female empowerment.
I'll be the first to tell you that I never was too deeply invested in female empowerment until my mid 20's. Throwing it back to High school, I think I speak for most females when I say that growing up as a teenage girl, sucked. I still to this day, remember some of the petty arguments that led to bullying, whether it be myself or others as the victim. I bet if I could put everyone who reads this in a room and asked if you've ever been bullied, that the whole room would be like a re-enactment of Mean Girls when Tina Fey tells everyone to raise their hands if they have ever felt personally victimised by Regina George. Because let's all agree that at one point or another, we have all fallen victim to being bullied by another female, and I think it's also important to acknowledge the latter, that we have probably all been the bully too at one point or another.
Fast forward to my late teens & early 20's, growing a little older and falling into relationships and all that stuff. I know I’m not alone in saying, I have been cheated on, lied to, and deceived by partners with other females, who knew full well that these "men" were in a public and rather long term relationship with another human being, me. To me this just showed such lack of empathy, morals, respect most most importantly, sisterhood. I never understood and still don't, to this day, how one female could do that to another. I know that the blame wasn't entirely at their feet, but let me assure you that if your man ever came to me with even the slightest hint of ill intention, I'd send him home with his tail between his legs and make sure you knew about it before he made it back for dinner. Maybe my morals are too high? I don't know, but all I know is this was a turning point in my younger years when I decided that I actually began actively avoiding having women in my life (by now you're probably thinking "this blog is about empowering females, what even is this post?" But as Elle Woods once said "I have a point, I promise") and that brings us to the present.


As I have walked down the path of life, I have grown a little older and much more mature, out of all my 27 years it wasn’t until the most recent of those that I have met some AMAZING, strong, kind, loving and pure women, whom I do love and respect dearly. Surrounding myself with these women has truly impacted who I am, they have not only inspired me, but changed me, without even trying or even knowing. I've looked up to these women for a while now, and it wasn't until that day that comment was made that I'd realised, their vision, their display of female empowerment, had impacted me too. My whole entire view and opinion of women had been changed by a small, but fierce group of females in my life, the unjustified bitter feelings towards females I had because of the actions of others in the past, was no longer a thing I held onto, and now my focus was on spreading the unity to all the women I interact with daily.


So let's go back to the comment about my makeup, my turning point.
 
So after I got beyond the initial bother around it, I found myself thinking a little deeper (probably deeper than normal people would lol) and I got this whirlwind of thoughts all at once "As a female she should understand, if it was a self-confidence thing." "I am me, it doesn't affect anyone else." And after a little while I came to this giant conclusion, that what I was feeling, is something that thousands of women would feel every single day at the hands of other women and it's something that should not even be a thing. We as females should not have to justify ourselves to one another!


I believe that we have no right to question one another’s harmless decisions that do not impact us or anyone else, being a female is hard enough without the added stress of unwarranted opinions, and I think that is something we will ALL agree on. If someone wants to wear makeup to the gym, then that is her decision. If someone wants to go fishing and drink beer with the boys, also her decision. Don't even get me started on the judgements made on how we choose to dress (by the way let me tell you, I wore a horrible mustard dress that slightly resembled a potato sack last weekend and I didn't care what anyone thought about it because I FELT PRETTY) and that's another wonderful thing about female empowerment, not only do you empower others, but you become empowered yourself, and you quickly learn to be comfortable within yourself when you let go of the bullshit, the competition with other girls, trying to meet others standards, to be the best or to follow trends you probably don't even like. But more importantly when you let all of that go, you also learn to become CONFIDENT with who you are.


Everything that we do differently to one another is what makes us unique and that is exactly WHY we should embrace and encourage it, NOT tear one another down for being different. After this realisation I've put a lot into practice. I help other women at every opportunity that I can, I find time to listen to those who have listened to me. I make sure I comment when I find something spectacular that another female has done, even something as simple as a new hair cut or a cute outfit, and you know what? Not only does it make the women at the receiving end of the compliments feel great, but I too, feel just as satisfied giving them, because these comments are just the beginning of something so much bigger. This is the beginning of creating a strong community of women who are all just trying to make their way through this crazy thing we all call life, so why not stick together, put on some mascara and help one another on the ride?
 
Kirsty xx
Previous article Do you dare daydream?!
Next article International Womens Day