learn to love yourself
Hi my name is Nicole and I am learning to love myself again.
Ladies, let me tell you something. There is absolutely nothing wrong with being yourself. There is nothing wrong with having an opinion, a taste in clothes, favourite foods and music. It is ok to have lots of friends or just a few and its ok to pursue your dreams.
It is absolutely ok to say how your feeling regardless of any situation, its ok to cry, to love, to feel emotions and vent however it works for you.
Loving yourself and narcissism or selfishness are very different things. Love is all about giving and receiving and if you can give enough care, attention and sympathy to yourself, most probably you can give it to others as well.
You must have heard the old truth that we cannot love others if we cannot love ourselves. Love flourishes when we give it to other people, but love always starts with ‘me.’ We are the only ones responsible for our life, choices and behaviours so we just have no right to be neglectful of ourselves.
However, I’ve never thought about why it’s so important to love myself even though I completely agree with the statement, and when I thought I was loving myself I was actually sabotaging myself and giving it out to everyone else that I lost myself a little.
You see it can really stem from our childhood. How we were brought up really does reflect our core values as adults, this doesn’t mean your life will be a mess or it will be amazing. But we watch our parents and families and we copy what they do. So, when we reach that time in our live when we need to love ourselves and figure out who we are and what we stand for its very easy to miss it and not give yourself attention. Unless you had someone building you up and encouraging you to be who you truly are it’s a difficult road to navigate.
When you love who you are, you accept who you are. I know perfectly well all my positive and negative sides and I didn’t accept them at all for a long time. I was so caught up on what I was missing, what I didn’t have, and spent so much time feeling annoyed at myself for any mistakes I had made or the way I had allowed others to treat me. I didn’t understand that I was allowing that and drawing that same type of toxic person in to my life when I only ever wanted the best for everyone.
Learning to accept yourself for all your traits and recognising what you value most is loving yourself. It doesn’t mean I’m satisfied with all my traits and doesn’t mean that you should stop improving yourself. It just helps you realize that you are the only one, with your unique traits, qualities and potentialities. It gives a great sense of confidence. When you accept who you are, you feel no need to counterfeit someone or compare yourself to others.
Self-reproach, sorrow and sense of shame are the worst things a person can experience. Loving yourself means being less anxious and depressed and less inclined to stresses and self-torture. How amazing and powerful that would feel, this is something I am trying to work on daily.
People!!! Loving yourself and putting yourself first doesn’t mean you don’t care about others. It means your smart enough to know that you can’t give energy to others if you don’t look after yourself.
A gentle reminder; don't allow anyone to make you feel like you're not good enough, there's not one damn person worth the energy you lose feeling un-worthy. Disconnect yourself from toxic friendships and relationships!! Try to spend more time reconnecting with yourself, being alone or lonely is the least of your worries in the long run. You should never let another person dictate your worth, devalue you or bring you down. Start setting some boundaries in your relationships and if you actually think you’re entitled to controlling your significant others social life and social media just to cater to your own insecurities and ego, don’t have one. If the people in your life start dictating or controlling what you and say then cut them out!! ask yourself what you’re willing to tolerate & sacrifice.
Too many people are trying to love someone else before they learn to love themselves. We need to Stop settling for the bullshit and start to understand that; what you allow will continue!!
Take time to do the things that fill your soul. Compliment yourself, use positive thinking, let go of your anger, slow down, accept your mistakes and treat ‘yo self!!
Its ok to say no to things that don’t align with you
Its ok to say no to things that don’t make you happy
Its on to fight for what you love and believe in
Its ok to love to yourself……its necessary!